Frauisms . . .

It is not uncommon in our house to hear the Frau say, "Put the thingy-ding in the watch-a-ma-call-it," and, ironically, I often know exactly to what she refers. When I'm unable to translate, however, I ask her to "use her words." While clarity should ensue, this often requires a whole new level of interpretation. So, my small gift to humanity on this day after Valentine's Day is a beginner's lexicon of Frauisms (with her permission, of course).

• "In the vasectomy" = in the vicinity
• "Ruby Tuesday Morning" = may be used interchangeably to refer to the restaurant - Ruby Tuesday - or the discount store - Tuesday Morning.
• "Barnes & Noble" = while used identify the actual bookstore, it can also mean we need Brummel & Brown (the butter substitute)
• "Jarlic" = refers to the minced fresh garlic that is sold in a jar
• "Cluboard" = refers to a closet that has been converted to a cupboard
• "Barocko" = refers to Barak Obama
• "Chocolate Viagra" = fudge ganache
• "Gestapo" = refers to a favorite Mexican restaurant actually called Ixtapa
• "Pork & Barrell" = refers to our favorite liquor store, the CORK & Barrell
• "Cork & Barrell" = not to be confused with the liquor store, this refers to the restaurant, the CRACKER Barrell

This in no way concludes our lexicon, but I will close the book for now. Fear not, there will most certainly be more to come.