To Be, or Not to Be . . . Hmm

The students are talking. I'm not surprised, and in fact, had suspected it would occur at some point (if not already). But knowing it in fact as opposed to speculation gives it a whole new sense of reality. I'm actually surprised it is suddenly occupying so much of my thought time, but it is . . . So, I'll share with my friendly readers, and perhaps gain some insights to give me some equilibrium on the matter.

A few of my more perceptive students noticed a couple of years ago when I started wearing my wedding ring. I know this is true because one of the more "sensitive" ones also studies private voice with one of my oldest, dearest friends, and she mentioned it in a voice lesson. Thank goodness there is no such thing as voice teacher/client privilege! For it is this same student who brought up - with some degree of frustration - at her voice lesson this week that "everyone is talking about Doc." I won't go into a lot of detail at this point, but suffice it to say that she is struggling with the "talk," her loyalty to me, her faith upbringing, and whether or not it should really matter.

Now the noble part of me that stands occasionally on a pedestal proclaims - Great! Let these gentle young minds struggle with what they think might be wrong as it applies to someone they seem to respect and admire. This is great. This is why I've told the Frau that she shouldn't worry about going to things at school with me and being seen more frequently. "Let them wonder," I say.

Well, they are wondering, and the not so noble part of me - the part that enjoys a regular pay check and regular meals - says ever so softly, "I sure hope their wondering doesn't cost me my job." Reality tells me not to worry - I'm not the only gay faculty member in the school, and the school district even has a very high level administrator who is "in the family way." But we all have heard stories of people "moving on" for other reasons at the critical juncture when their orientation was discovered.

Now, dear friends, the previous paragraph is just me acknowledging that I have fears, however minute. I've been claiming to be ready for a test - to "live out" my life, just as I grew up being taught to "live out" my faith. And frankly, I don't think there should be any disparity between the two. It's time for the world - or at least my little microcosm of it - to be exposed to "normal" gay people - yes, and see a wedding ring that says I believe in the sanctity of a monogamous long-term relationship and it is not in conflict with the faith most of the students also know me to have. I'll keep you posted on this one. I'm at a convention for a few days, so I have some time to really reflect on this one. I feel quite sure that the answer is . . . "To Be."

Frauisms, Part II

The Frau has a few issues with royalty, thus the following clarifications:

• "King Kamehameha" - aka the Royal Turtle Sundae at Sheridans Frozen Custard
• "King and I" - aka the King and Prince Resort on St. Simons Island, Georgia

Frauisms . . .

It is not uncommon in our house to hear the Frau say, "Put the thingy-ding in the watch-a-ma-call-it," and, ironically, I often know exactly to what she refers. When I'm unable to translate, however, I ask her to "use her words." While clarity should ensue, this often requires a whole new level of interpretation. So, my small gift to humanity on this day after Valentine's Day is a beginner's lexicon of Frauisms (with her permission, of course).

• "In the vasectomy" = in the vicinity
• "Ruby Tuesday Morning" = may be used interchangeably to refer to the restaurant - Ruby Tuesday - or the discount store - Tuesday Morning.
• "Barnes & Noble" = while used identify the actual bookstore, it can also mean we need Brummel & Brown (the butter substitute)
• "Jarlic" = refers to the minced fresh garlic that is sold in a jar
• "Cluboard" = refers to a closet that has been converted to a cupboard
• "Barocko" = refers to Barak Obama
• "Chocolate Viagra" = fudge ganache
• "Gestapo" = refers to a favorite Mexican restaurant actually called Ixtapa
• "Pork & Barrell" = refers to our favorite liquor store, the CORK & Barrell
• "Cork & Barrell" = not to be confused with the liquor store, this refers to the restaurant, the CRACKER Barrell

This in no way concludes our lexicon, but I will close the book for now. Fear not, there will most certainly be more to come.